A few years ago my friend told me of a friend of hers who had a "song" with herself.
(You know what I mean by having a "song" with somebody right?)
And her song with herself was, wait for it, "Still The One" by Orleans.
If you think about that, really think about it, I am pretty sure you will find it -- as I did, and do -- an unbearably clever and adorable idea.
I've never forgotten that and I think about it every time I hear that song. Of course I considered what my song with myself would be, but never came up with it and obviously you can't rush into a decision of that magnitude. In this, as in many other things in life, I am a bit of a late bloomer.
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The song: Junior Walker and the All-Stars, "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)"; 1966
This is my favorite version of this song, but it's gotten a bit lost between the classic 1964 Marvin Gaye original and the . . .well let's say divisive James Taylor cover of 1975. (Hardcore fans of this song might be interested to know that Marvin Gaye also recorded it in German: "Wie Schön Das Ist".)
I should have known that my song with myself could only have been written by the magical conglomerate that was Holland-Dozier-Holland (authors of some of my absolute favorite songs, including "You Keep Me Hangin' On", "Come See About Me", "I Can't Help Myself", etc etc etc), because I have always loved Motown, and I mean always. As a child I listened to oldies radio (KISN 97.1 FM in fact) as often as I humanly could.
(This may explain something about me.)
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I chose "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" as my song with myself because I finally understand that life is so much better when I am my own friend, so to speak. It's very easy to forget to be your own friend.
We have a strange relationship in this culture to the concept of "self-love". We vaguely know that we are supposed to do it and that Oprah thinks it's the key to success or something like that. I don't know about you but I am actually kind of inclined to believe Oprah when she talks about the keys to success because, damn, girl! But, we also constantly watch ourselves and others for the strange sin of being "too full of yourself" or "thinking you are better than you are".
What I think is happening there is confusion between "self-love" and "self-absorption", which if you take the prefix off is also a true statement. But in fact love is not absorption, it's just. . .affectionate acceptance, in its most basic form. "I see you, and I like what I see." (Equally important halves.)
Definitely a hard thing to learn to say to yourself. But, how sweet it is!
Yrs,
AW
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